Reflection, Principles, and Finding the Signal

As 2025 comes to an end, like many people, I find myself reflecting during the holiday break.

From a business perspective, this time of year feels less like a year-end review and more like a mid-year checkpoint. Most of our companies operate on a school-year rhythm, summer to summer, rather than a traditional January to December calendar. This is the first year we have intentionally adopted that cadence, so perhaps I am more reflective than usual, still finding the rhythm of what a true mid-year review looks like for me.

Over the past month, I have been incredibly fortunate. I spent nine days in England, headed to the mountains with close family friends, reconnected with old friends and colleagues, and spent meaningful time with my family. Each of those experiences, different as they were, helped reset my perspective. They sharpened my focus, clarified what matters most, and opened up new ways of thinking about how I build, lead, and decide.

During this period, I spent a lot of time revisiting my “Why,” where it comes from, and the principles that sit underneath it.

I have been comfortable with my Why for years. Anyone who has worked with me knows how central it has been to how I build teams, programs, and companies. I have been a believer in Simon Sinek’s work ever since I first saw his TED Talk nearly twenty years ago. The idea resonated immediately and became a framework I have used almost instinctively ever since.

What is new for me is not the Why itself, but a deeper exploration of its roots. Where it came from. The lessons that shaped it. And how to codify those lessons into repeatable principles, systems, and language that can guide my decisions and help others along the way.

Much of that work leads back to my parents.

My mom was an exceptional storyteller and one of the most respected crisis communications and public relations professionals in the country. She shaped generations of communicators, and her lessons are still used daily by people I admire. One of the things she pushed me on constantly was telling my story, whether it was about my work, our businesses, or the decisions we were making.

Since her passing, I find myself returning often to one of her most direct lessons:

“If you aren’t telling your story, someone else will, and you probably aren’t going to like it.”

It is a simple statement, but a powerful one. It applies equally to business and personal life, in moments of success and moments of struggle. Closely tied to that was her insistence on honesty, especially when it is uncomfortable. Those two ideas have become foundational principles for me, and I can point directly to moments of success and failure based on whether I lived up to them.

Looking back, I now see how closely Simon Sinek’s thinking aligns with what I was taught growing up. My Why is, in many ways, a way of telling my story. My family’s story. A way of codifying the lessons that shaped me. When people understand why you make the decisions you do, they may not always agree, but they are far more likely to engage with respect. Understanding someone’s Why changes the entire conversation.

During my recent trip to England, I was reminded of this again through football.

A close friend, Lee Herron, who now helps lead Arsenal’s youth academy, shared a phrase they live by: “Blame players last.” I laughed, not because it was funny, but because it was so clear. It captured something I have believed for years in just three words.

When things go wrong, the first question should not be “who failed?” but “what did the environment allow?” Did we design the right system? Was the messaging clear? Did we create the conditions for success? Did we show empathy and take the time to understand what might be affecting performance?

We often dismiss ideas like this by calling them “simple,” and in doing so, we undervalue them. Simple does not mean easy. In fact, the clearest ideas are often the hardest to live out consistently. That phrase cuts through the noise. It clarifies the signal. And clarity, more than complexity, is what most people and organizations are missing.

Another conversation on that same trip, this time with Noel Hunt, reinforced a different but related lesson. Much of modern football discussion focuses on possession, control, and dominance. Those are important, especially when you have the best players. But what about when you do not? What then becomes essential?

Work rate. Grit. Organization. Culture. Conviction.

It was a reminder that there are multiple ways to build and to win, and that we often undervalue fundamentals because they are not flashy. It also reinforced something I believe deeply: if you are not actively seeking contrarian perspectives, you should be cautious. Growth often lives on the edge of discomfort.

More recently, a conversation with a former colleague, Cassie Boesch, introduced language that sharpened something I already believed. She talked about the importance of understanding a person’s “entry point.” Where are they entering the conversation? The system? The challenge?

That framing matters. The principle may remain the same, but the entry point changes everything. Experience, age, context, success, and failure all shift how someone engages. If you miss the entry point, you miss the opportunity to lead effectively.

That idea came up again in a discussion with a youth coach at Aston Villa. As he explained the deeper technical reasoning behind their approach, I was fully engaged. Others in the room were not. It was a reminder that not everyone wants to understand the why in the same way. Some people want the theory. Others just want the answer. Leadership requires recognizing that difference and communicating accordingly.

There are many more moments from recent weeks that are still settling. What I know for certain is this: spending time defining your principles, and understanding how they connect to your Why, matters. Not so you can adopt someone else’s framework, but so you can build your own.

Do not follow someone else’s principles. Learn from them. Challenge your own. Reflect on what has worked, what has not, and why. Growth comes from curiosity, honesty, and the willingness to adjust.

We will all succeed and fail along the way. That is inevitable. But if we take the time to reflect, to listen, and to learn, we give ourselves a better chance to live with intention and to keep getting closer to our best selves.

C